When Life Gets Tough

Perspective. It's a key that has helped me move on past all of my struggles. There are things in this world that we cannot control. People die, accidents happen, nature strikes or the actions of others can cause us harm. Sometimes, things can get tough because of our own actions and self sabotaging prophecies. There is one saying that I have always remembered and still live by to this day and that is; There are never mistakes, only lessons.  

Sometimes we feel sorry for ourselves thinking, "How could this happen to me?" or sometimes we experience so much bad luck, that we start to just expect more bad luck because we feel we never get lucky. The funny thing about this kind of thinking is that you're absolutely right. Just as Henry Ford once said, "Whether you think you can or if you think you can't, you're right." 


At times life can throw us off course and things don't work out how we intended them to be, but step outside of the situation and take a moment to look at it from a different perspective. Maybe there are things we still need to learn, maybe there is growth in areas still needing to be developed. In this moment now, and everything leading up to this present moment, has been shaping, building, strengthening and guiding us to our true potential.

Think about the last time you went through a rough patch. How did you feel back then? Did you see the light at the end of the tunnel? How did you come out of it? What did you learn? These are the questions I ask myself and every single time, maybe not when I am in the midst of the turmoil, but once I had come out of the dark hole, I always experience those 'Aha' moments. Those moments of realisation of why it had to have happened and how it has helped me in a roundabout way.


Life isn't meant to be controlled. If we could control everything, it would get boring. We wouldn't know emotions because we wouldn't know pain and if we didn't know pain, we wouldn't know happiness. So for that reason, I am thankful for all of my setbacks. Even the most painful ones. Would I want to relive it again? Heck no! But would I change it for the world? No way! The times of darkness were the very reason I had to be forced to grow and evolve into who I am today.

When we lose a loved one, it can be extremely tough. I have now come to accept the fact that throughout our lives, we will experience this at one point or maybe even several. It is a part of life's cycle. We will all die. We are human and not one of us is meant to live forever. At the times of loss, after I allow myself to feel the pain and wallow in my sadness, I always look back at their life and think of what lessons I could learn from them. Everyone we meet in our lives teaches us something. We just have to be open to it so we can learn.


If I look back at all of my heartache, my mistakes, the grief, the trauma and all of the pain, there is one thing that they have all brought me; and that is strength. If I hadn't experienced the lows, I would not be as grateful for the highs. I would not be as caring towards others and I would not be as resilient as I am. Take a look at your past pain and ask yourself what you had learnt. The only way to grow and move forward is to accept what has happened, look at the lessons that can be taken from them and implement them in your present and future.

Focus on the positives, not the negatives for whatever we focus on grows. There is a good and bad, positive and negative, yin and yang in everything. We have the power of choice and we can choose what we want to see. If we dwell on the negatives and look at things from fear, anger or jealousy we will never move forward; that is how resentment and self sabotaging issues arise.

Next time you find yourself going down a dark train of thought, be aware and ask yourself why you are thinking these things and make a conscious effort to switch your perspective and frame of mind. You may be amazed at how everything in life changes for the better.

Getting lost is just another way the universe is guiding us in the right direction. So next time life throws you off track, instead of getting down and disheartened, take a moment and ask yourself, what lessons have you learnt? What is the universe trying to teach you? At times it may not seem like it but the universe always has our backs. 

Maz Dela Cerna