When Things Don't Work Out

Have you ever wanted something so bad that it was all you could think about? Have you ever longed for something so much that you would do basically anything to be able to have it? Have you ever come to the realisation that maybe that very thing you so longed to have was never going to happen?

It fucking sucks. Trust me, I know. I’ve been there plenty of times before. It feels like a truck ran over your soul and your whole world is collapsing around you. Every morning you wake up, you feel heavy. Your heart feels like it’s sunken deep into oblivion and just getting out of bed is such a drag. It feels like way too much effort.


At the time, this is the last thing we want to hear. Sometimes when people tell us this, we want to scream at them. “Of course it happens for a reason, cos if there wasn’t a reason, it wouldn’t be fucking happening!” All the quotes in the world doesn’t make it any better. All we can think about is the loss we are experiencing. The heart ache. The pain. We question things over and over again in our heads to the point we start to think we are losing our minds. We over analyse, we look at the ‘What ifs’ we play the same scenes on repeat until we go back to square one. Lost as fuck. Confused as fuck and frustrated more than ever.

After all is said and done, the thing to remember with life is that shit will always happen. There isn’t one single person on this planet that doesn’t have to go through some type of ‘shit’. At the time we may feel like the victim. We may wonder why this is happening to us. We may feel like no one else gets it. You may be right. Unless someone else has experienced what you are going through, no one is going to ‘get it’. Now your job is to make a choice. Now that you know you aren’t going to get what you thought you wanted, how are you going to move forward from this?


If we look back on our lives and think of our greatest lessons we have learnt, didn’t they all come from our mistakes? Just think about it. If we had always got everything right, would we know what we know now? The greatest teachers in the world were built from multiple failures. I guarantee you can research and google anyone that you look up to and you will find that they too experienced a great amount of loss, rejection and set backs. The only difference with their success was how they used that ‘mistake’ to grow.

Life is never going to be complete smooth sailing. If it was, we would all be numb and happiness could not exist. If we didn’t know pain, how would we know what it feels like to be happy? No matter what you may be going through, it’s so important to always remember that this too will soon pass. I know, easier said than done but honestly, have a look back through your life. Think back to all the things you have experienced where you thought you wouldn’t get through it. You’re here now. You made it through didn’t you?


Heart breaks suck. Rejection hurts. Failing at something damages our ego. We can lose confidence. We can lose hope. At the time, it almost always feels like we want to give up. I don’t know how many times I have felt close to giving up in my life but if I really start to dig deep, I sometimes wonder how I am still here. How I found the courage to continue and how I can even be writing about my experiences and sharing it to the world. It’s amazing what we are capable of. It’s not just me. It’s you too. We all have the power to achieve what our hearts desire.

Have you noticed that if certain things played out the way we once wanted, we wouldn’t have experienced other things that end up being so much better? It can be a catch 22. The universe can be so ironic at the best of times. All I know is that every rejection, every set back and every failure I have ever experienced forced me to grow. Mistakes are lessons. Mistakes are blessings in disguise and mistakes can be the best gift of life if we can allow our perception to shift.

As the old saying goes, ‘Every rejection is a re-direction.’ Maybe just maybe that door closed because there is something bigger and better waiting out there for you. Maybe that failure was exactly what you needed to have that ‘aha’ moment and realise a lesson before it was too late. Next time things don’t work out, let yourself grieve, let yourself feel. Just don’t forget to heal. Take that set back and look at it from another perspective. Instead of asking yourself ‘Why is this happening to me'?’ Try asking yourself, ‘What is this trying to teach me?’